Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
