I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
