Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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