Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
