Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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