it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
