Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
