Duck Duck Cougar?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So. Much. Porn.
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