Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize