Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
