i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
