why didn't you poke me back
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
