Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
