just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
