I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
