I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
