Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
