Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize