He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
