Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
