this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
