dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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