1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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