Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
