Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
