Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
soo... how was my night?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
