I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
