And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
