WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
