why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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