His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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