it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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