Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
