1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
