He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
