Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
