If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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