1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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