coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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