Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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