Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
