What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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