Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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