Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
