I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
