I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
