if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize
