My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
