someone get that fucking seahorse.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
