yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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