I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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