I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
