If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
