Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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