I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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