Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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