Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
