My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
