hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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