My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
