The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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