How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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