Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
