Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
