her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
