Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You took a bar mat shot.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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