How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize