): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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