I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
