I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
