i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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