dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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