He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
