adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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