I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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