just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
