Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
