It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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