I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is it because I queefed?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
