If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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